The Experimental Arranged Marriage
by vicadoodis
Summary: Wedding preparations made everyone else think about marriage... but why does Charlie think arranged marriages are better? How can they test it? And why does Fleur hate Hermione? Who else has a grudge against her?
1. Hypothesis

**The Experimental Arranged Marriage**

**Chapter One – The Hypothesis**

Fred had just closed up the shop – he always did it, where George would open every morning – and dragged himself upstairs, when he was accosted by his twin.

"Where've you been? What took you so long?"

"Give me a break, Forge; a load of kids came in right after you left," he replied grumpily.

"Anyway, I have news: I've just been talking to the girls, and-"

"No." Fred cut him off. He'd just broken up with Angelina, after almost two years together, and he wasn't in the mood to be especially social with her at present.

"But wait to hear what I have to say!" George tried. "It's really good, and doesn't just involve them."

Fred sighed, already dreading what was coming.

"Go on, then," he said.

"Nah, bro – I'll have to show you..." George's evil grin was there in full force as he dragged his twin into the green fireplace.

"What the-?" Was all Fred could say when he saw the kitchen of the Burrow.

It looked like a face-off between two countries, not a girl-fight. Yet that was what it was: Fleur and Hermione were standing three feet apart and screaming at each other in French. Fred was taken aback – who knew the know-it-all was good at languages too? He should've guessed, though – this _was_ Hermione Granger.

Looking for someone to update him and his brother, George tapped Katie on the shoulder.

"What's happened since I left to get Fred?" He asked.

"Nothing much, just more accusations and disbelieving reactions. I think Fleur might have brought up the Yule Ball, too," she replied. "I can't quite catch it all, though, and they haven't stopped to breathe again, yet."

As she spoke, all voices silenced, and Fleur and Hermione were stepping back, both outraged. Angelina, listening to a translation spell by her ear, was shaking her head in disgust. Fred was reluctant to talk to her, but when she caught sight of him, she beckoned him over.

"Fred?" She'd never really been able to tell the difference – one of many factors in the break-up.

"Yep," he replied with a forced smile.

"OK, here's the situation," she began, "Fleur came into the kitchen while us girls were having a gossip – as we do." Fred nodded at her to continue. "And we were goading Hermione 'cause she's known for doing any dare that's legal, right?" Fred grunted, a signal to go on. Lina had never quite got the idea of summarising. "So we're joking around about what we'll all be doing in ten years, and someone – I think it was Nora – brought up kids. Fleur said she wasn't having children, and Hermione – though we all did the same, just quieter – gasped loudly and asked why not. You with me?"

"Yep, still here."

"Ok, so Fleur, who never really got on with Hermione – thinks she's too outspoken – mutters something in French. Hermione catches it, thinks for a second, and says something back in French. Before we know it they're screaming at each other. We didn't even think of a translation charm 'til one of them brought up Bill's name."

Fred just stood there as he tried to take it all in. He supposed that it was bound to happen sooner or later, though he wouldn't have guessed that Hermione, of all people, would get so het up about not wanting children.

_Girls_, he thought, shaking his head. _There's no understanding them._

After dinner, everyone staying at the Burrow, and not getting married or planning the wedding congregated in Harry's room – which had been the twins'. They were talking quietly, discussing various topics, until Charlie apparated in, directly on top of Fred. The latter was grateful that, if nothing else, his brother was a good deal shorter than he was – his mouth was free for him to yell,

"_Gerroff_! Move it, you fat bugger!"

Surprisingly, Charlie didn't return an insult but rolled off Fred and sat, morose, on the floor. Knowing better than to get in the way, Fred hung back as the girls fussed over him, to Ron's disgust.

"How can he stand it?" He asked, indignant.

"Maybe he actually _likes_ girls, idiot," said George. Ron went red and started to protest his sexuality when Charlie finally spoke.

"Why did we ever come out of the dark ages?" Of course, Hermione _had_ to know what he was talking about.

"What do you mean? What was better hundreds of years ago than now?" She asked, confused.

"The weather?" Supplied Fred. She just gave him a look that said, _now is __not__ the time to be facetious_. She'd probably be surprised that Fred even _knew_ that word, he mused. His thinking was cut off by Charlie's reply of,

"Back then, you had arranged marriages." Fred could tell that Hermione was dying to correct him, so he sent her a look just like hers. Surprisingly, she sat back, admitting defeat. Fred, however, didn't have time to think about it as his older brother continued, "Everything was chosen for you, and decidedby someone else. Much easier than trying to hash it in today's world. Just think, you'd never have nasty break-ups or broken engagements, 'cause your significant other would have been chosen by your parents; you'd have to marry them, and that was the end of it."

Silence greeted the end of his musings, as everyone in the room realised the aadvantages of having your marriage partner chosen for you. Strangely, though Fred was starting to get used to it, Hermione was the first to add her support for the idea.

"Yeah, and you'd be able to blame your parents or guardians if anything went wrong, and you'd know that they were chosen for you either for political gain or because you were well-suited. There would be a _good reason_ for it."

_She sounded very angry at that last bit_, thought Fred. _Does it have something to do with the fight earlier? _Judging by the expressions on Katie's, Lina's, Nora's and Ginny's faces, it did.

"You know what?" Said Katie, "We should test that."

Fred's wasn't the only blank face.

"I mean," she continued, "We should arrange a relationship within the group, alongside Bill and Fleur's marriage; test Charlie's claim."

They sat and thought about it. George seemed to come to a conclusion first, as he was the next to speak.

"I'm with Katie. How about we put everyone volunteering into a draw and pick out two names?"

Fred needed to intervene on this one.

"No, that defeats the object of choosing people for a reason," he said, stealing a glance at Hermione, who seemed put out that Fred had got there first. "We should get someone not involved to pair two of us up, stating why."

"That you in then, Fred?" Asked Ron.

"Yep, baby brother, I'm ready for a challenge!"

"Wait," said Hermione, whose logical side had just kicked in. "If we're testing Charlie's claim, we have to make it an actual marriage, not just a relationship. It would have to be legal."

Fred noted Lina's reluctance, and was about to suggest a signed agreement or a contract when Nora put in her two penn'orth.

"So we should draw up a contract or agreement now, and then ask for volunteers, before taking the names to someone independent for selection." Making sense like that, Fred could hardly believe that she was George's girlfriend.

"So who is 'someone independent'?" Asked Ginny. "Does it mean someone who's not eligible?"

"I suppose so," said Nora. "Everybody? We'll need a name, once we've drawn this up."

Fred smirked. He had ideas for this already.

"What first?" He enquired. "The length of the marriage or the person responsible for matchmaking?"


	2. Planning

**The Experimental Arranged Marriage**

Whoops! Forgot the disclaimer... but d'you seriously think that _I_ could own this? I mean, I'm flattered; but...

**Chapter Two – Planning**

Hermione woke up groggily as shouting pierced her dim consciousness. Opening her eyes, she saw a blurred red outline which appeared to be pulsing. Rubbing the sleep away, she saw Ginny grappling with George, no doubt a result of her being awoken Far Too Early. Hermione empathised – she wasn't a morning person, either. _In fact,_ she thought, _I'd best ingest some caffeine soon, or I'll be as irritated as my roommate_. She left the room, closing the door to prevent further disturbance.

Coming slowly down the stairs in search of a hot caffeinated wake-up, Fred almost went flying when someone with a great deal of momentum fell into him from above and behind. Picking himself up from the pile on the landing, he dusted himself off before turning to the accoster. He gaped as he saw Hermione's bushy curls – who knew she could have so much force? He was about to offer her a hand up when she muttered something. Bending closer, he could make it out.

"_Stupid fight; I'll have to actually get up __before__ her tomorrow. And I__ hate__ early risers... George is gonna get it..._"

Laughing, Fred stuck out a hand, putting it in her line of vision slowly enough to prevent an attack – he'd heard about her reflexes. She appeared to accept it, and he pulled her upright, surprised to see a face almost as sleepy as his. They made their way in silence to the kitchen, both gratefully accepting large mugs of coffee from the very much alert Bill.

Hermione knew she was in for it when the oldest Weasley brother turned to her, and asked,

"So what actually happened in here yesterday? Fleur was too outraged that you know how to swear in French to tell me what led to it." He seemed amused. _Good_, thought Hermione, _he won't be too annoyed_...

"Er, I might have, um, been a little _too_ surprised at something she said, that's all," she stammered. Bill was giving her a blank look, like, _how can that lead to a fight?_ Luckily, Fred came to her rescue.

"The girls were gossipping and Hermione, _along with the others_," he stressed, "reacted when Fleur said that she didn't plan to have children." Fred shifted slightly, leaning away from his older brother in case he exploded. Hermione, he noticed, was doing the same.

He needn't have bothered; Bill was silent for so long that by the time he spoke, it was obvious that he wasn't about to shout.

"I – I suppose we should have talked about it..." He seemed to have forgotten the others, addressing himself. He left the kitchen, muttering.

"So then the chosen couple will need to sign the contract, before-" Nora was cut off by an irate Angelina, who stormed into the shop, looking for blood.

"Where is she?" She demanded of George, who was manning the till.

"You're going to have to be a bit more specific, love; I'm good, but I'm no mind-reader." He grinned as she huffed and turned to leave. He was left grinning like a maniac when she threw a roll of parchment on the floor and stalked out. Nora picked it up, read a few of the lines written on it, and took a step back in shock.

"What is it?" Asked George, concerned.

"I – I – I have to tell her..." She stuttered. Without a word, she turned and disapparated, leaving George to read the parchment in search of the shock-inducing words.

A/N: anyone see the resemblance to GCSE Science coursework? Tee hee...Never thought I'd be using that structure again. Any way – I love reviews; they brighten up my day so much! Please and thank you... that friendly button's just waiting... :D

A/N v1.2: sorry – I had to change a couple of errors – hopefully not too noticeable...


	3. List of Apparatus

**The Experimental Arranged Marriage**

Disclaimer: Yeah. Right. As if.

**Chapter Three: List of Apparatus**

The Rules were drawn up by dinner on Saturday night. They stood, under agreement, as follows:

This contract shall be legally and magically binding; violation of which shall result in penalties devised by _non-participating volunteer_ signatories.

A _volunteer_ is defined as one who, freely and independently, has signed the document, "List of Volunteers", with a witness' signature accompanying it. The document is to be found in the possession of either of Messyrs William Weasley and Remus Lupin.

A _participating volunteer_ is defined as one independently selected _volunteer_ for participation in the Experimental Arranged Marriage, as outlined by this contract. Any _volunteer_ not selected for participation is to be referred to as a _non-participating volunteer_; two of whom will be appointed counter-signatories of this contract and witnesses for the marriage certificate.

This contract shall be signed, and countersigned, voluntarily by the two _participating volunteers_ and the two selected _non-participating volunteers_.

A legal marriage shall be entered into, after signing this contract, by the two _participating volunteers_.

Said legal marriage shall stand for a period of one year, after which annulment is permitted.

This contract terminates after a period of one year from the creation of a legal marriage. After termination, all parties are hereby released of all terms of the contract.

Hermione, who was the self-appointed main author of the contract, looked up nervously every time anyone entered the room. Angelina had been out to get her since she'd come across the roll of parchment in Katie's possession. Hoping fervently that the secret would not come out before she had a chance to come up with an explanation not _too_ far from the truth, Hermione headed to dinner with the others.

They discussed more specific terms over dinner; suggestions including living together (from Katie), minimum time spent together during a week (from George, after prodding by Nora), and whether or not the couple were to be permitted exclusion from the unofficial weekly dinner at the Burrow if spending time together.

It was agreed to include the first two of these, with amendments from Fred. The first was to have a time clause – there was a period of up to three months to find a place to live. The second was to be a daily requirement of six hours in one another's company – awake. After agreement, Hermione-the-scribe happily wrote them in, before asking how many names were on the list of volunteers.

"Er," began George haltingly, "I'm not sure; I gave it to Bill like we agreed. Haven't seen it since I witnessed Fred."

His twin blushed faintl, making all the girls go _aww_. This only served to make him blush to the ears. Fred glared at George when Ron commented on the resemblance to himself.

Fred, eager to change the subject, cleared his throat and said,

"Well, when I put my name to it, only Angelina and Katie had signed."

Nora turned to the latter in surprise.

"I thought -" she was cut off by a hand over her mouth. She wasn't informed until Katie said, sadly,

"It's supposed to goad him into action."

Had anyone been looking at Hermione, they would have seen a face that plainly said, '_Been there, done that, got the t-shirt; and guess what? It didn't work!_'. Unfortunately, no-one was.

Bill came into the kitchen then, surprised by the sheer focus of the group. He sat beside Ginny and hoped no-one noticed and censored what they said.

"So, Nora," said Katie mock-casually, "Are you going to volunteer?"

"Obviously not!" Exclaimed George. Most of the room's occupants looked on in silent shock. George was the quiet, measured one usually.

Deciding to remedy the silence, Hermione pointedly reached for Nora's left hand, showing everyone the glittering diamond on her finger.

Katie, unimpressed, and Hermione, smug, were the only girls not crowding Nora and asking question after question, deciding instead to retire to a corner and whisper furiously.

Charlie, nosy as ever, sidled past the bored males and caught some of the heated exchange.

" - no chance - " Hermione murmured. Katie replied,

" - anything, if it's legal, and - "

Charlie was interrupted by Bill's hand on his shoulder. Turning towards his closest brother, he missed the rest of the girls' conversation. Glaring, all he got in return was a wink and a roll of parchment. (A/N: not the previously mentioned roll)

Unrolling it furtively while Bill ran for the far end of the room, Charlie cleared his throat for everyone's attention. The room went silent save the bickering in the corner, drawing all eyes to the girls. After a minute or so, they worked out that no-one was talking and abruptly turned to face the others.

"Er, hi." Said Hermione lamely. She prepared to give Charlie her full attention, as everybody else was doing; but Katie's voce rang out.

"I _dare_ you to volunteer!" Shocked and/or dismayed, the group turned back.

"I can't!"

"Yes you can! You dare _any_thing, as long as -"

"As long as it's legal and fits with my moral code. I _know_. But -"

"Then why not?" Katie demanded.

"I can't because - "

"Well?"

"Because I've _already_ volunteered!" Hermione burst out, eyes wide at the volume of her reaction.

Charlie glanced down at the roll in his hands. The list of names. Well. He decided to read it out, and end the suspense.

"List of Volunteers." His voice was the only sound, everybody with bated breath.

Angelina Johnson, witness Katie Bell.

Katie Bell, witness Angelina Johnson.

Fred Weasley, witness George Weasley.

Hermione Granger, witness Ginny Weasley.

Oliver Wood, witness Fred Weasley.

Charlie Weasley, witness Hermione Granger.

Seamus Finnigan, witness Verity Smith.

Verity Smith, witness Seamus Finnigan.

Penelope Clearwater, witness Nora O'Callaghan

Lee Jordan, witness Alicia Spinnet.

A/N: sorry – this chapter seemed to hate me. I think I got all of the spellings of names right; let me know if I'm wrong. Also: you will find out about the first piece of parchment as we find out just how many girls don't get on with Hermione Jane Granger. It may make her seem somewhat OOC, but I swear as the plot thickens (claps im silly glee) it will all become clear. Thanks for reviews! Yayy! does happy dance

slaps self must get writing next chap...


	4. Preparation

The Experimental Arranged Marriage A/N: Sorry about the big gap – I was waiting to see if I could hit 21 reviews, when school started again. Real life has a way of biting you in the… never mind. 

Disclaimer: If I owned this, would Charlie and Fred ever get dressed? I didn't think so. Black Velvet isn't mine either… just the possibilities…

Chapter IV: Preparation 

It was agreed that the "Announcement" would be made on a Friday, two weeks after Bill and Fleur's wedding. In the meantime, wedding preparations were consuming everyone's time. Except Harry, Ron and Hermione, who were busy researching, using books found during the evenings, catching the notice of the "young'uns" who sat and talked.

This isolation was getting on everyone's nerves by the week leading up to the wedding. As a result, the social group decided to force the trio to spend some time away from the books. It was decided that, to ensure participation, Hermione would be taken away for some girl time, and Harry and Ron would 'hang out' with the lads. It was also decided to do this for the stag and hen parties that week.

Hermione found herself praying for a death eater attack, in order to escape the clutches of girls who seemed determined to rip her into pieces and glue her back together without the 'unsightly' bits. What surprised her was how vehement Nora was – she'd never seemed one for all of the primping and fussing going on.

No one saw Hermione 'til late the next day. She'd hidden away in Ginny's room reading after being made to sit for hours while her appearance was messed with. Harry's tan and Ron's haircut drastically improved their profiles, but even so, Ginny planned to take them shopping for clothes at the first opportunity.

The hen-and-stag party found itself in a string of semi-magical clubs in London. While Fred found a drunk Boy-Who-Lived incredibly entertaining (he could see the headlines now), something was missing. He couldn't tease Hermione for frowning at the short skirts of the other girls because she wasn't there.

He sat, moodily glaring into his beer. He didn't like beer. Luckily, Charlie noticed his morose face and came over, saying,

"C'mon, let's go to the bar and get a _real_ drink." Fred smiled, slowly.

"Brother mine, that's the best idea I've heard all night."

They made their way over, weaving through the thronging crowd. Charlie couldn't help but feel self-conscious – girls were staring blatantly at his scarred and burnt arms. Fred saw and winked cheekily at the dragon tamer. Maybe they weren't gawking out of disgust.

They stayed at the bar for most of the night, watching a myriad of people go by. Soon, they'd developed a game of sorts, scoring girls out of ten based on attitude, outfit and wit. So far, nobody had managed more than a seven.

That changed when a different song came on. It was slow yet strong. Fred couldn't place it 'til Charlie whispered in his ear,

"Black Velvet – it's a power ballad."

Most of the club hadn't been expecting such a big change in tempo from the night's trance mixes, so the dancefloor rapidly emptied. Fred sat up, eager, when he saw a brand new piece of meat.

"Eleven,' he murmured to his older brother.

They had a good view of her, propped up along one side of the room as they were. This afforded them the first glimpse of something good when she sauntered, swaying to the beat. She leaned against a floor-to-ceiling pole, which neither could recall seeing prior to her arrival.

As she started dancing, slow and sensual to the beat, they got a glimpse of cleavage above corset and a very long slit in her snug skirt.

She bent over, spinning like a pro, the brothers a fantastic view. Over her incredibly flexible body, Fred saw the ashen face of his soon-to-be-sister-in-law and amended his original assessment.

"Seventeen," he said, grinning.

It wasn't until Charlie's lack of response prompted Fred to follow his gaze; he was soon staring at the writhing body barely ten feet away. A spotlight shone on her, illuminating every curve and twist. Fred absent-mindedly grabbed Charlie's glass of whiskey and took a large swig. There was just something so_ familiar_ about her.

She looked him in the eye and the last thing he remembered before everything went black was a strange sense of pride that someone so reserved was dancing right in front of him…

A/N 2: In my disclaimer I _really_ didn't mean it like that… you sickos. Love ya anyway though! Review!


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